So I'm pretty sure I remember on my last post stating that I would never again go a month without some sort of update. It has been a month. I am just terrible at sitting down and writing a paragraph here and a paragraph there, in my mind I feel like I am always supposed to have some elaborate tale about an epic battle with the devil and me doing a victory dance with Jesus in the rain underneath the glow of the yellow "Makkas" arches. Perhaps a story about me walking down the strand barefoot; beard blowing gracefully in the wind as I speak truth and life and love over a group of lepers gathered around the rock I stand upon devouring every word I speak; falling more in love with the Lord with every syllable, as I take a lick of pineapple gelato in between each earth-shattering statement. But I don't have these stories, because I haven't done this. this is hard. Its like school for the mission hopefuls. Do you have what it takes? Are you willing to give up? Are you willing to sacrafice everything? Will you die to yourself?
Every morning I wake up and I give it all to God. I give Him Emily, I give him my mom, my sisters, my nephews, my brother-in-law(s), the Hatfield's. I give Him friends, I give Him dreams and goals and plans that I have developed for myself everyday. I give him plans that I DEVELOPED for MYSELF. Because these have a tendency to crash and burn and fail MISERABLY. So i give these things to Him everyday in faith that He will give me goals and plans and dreams that are from Him. I have been seeing more and more that MY plans and HIS plans aren't entirely different from one another. He wants me to beat up the devil in the McDonalds parking lot, and He wants me to be able to speak truth and life and love to people, and enjoy tasty pineapple gelato. He wants me and my future wife to change this world together, through Him. He wants my mom to be ok...better than ok. He wants my mom to be alive in Him. He wants my sisters to live love and be sucessful in everything they do. He has HUGE plans for Ezra and Hudson. He wants to take care of my brothers. He will provide for the Hatfields. He wants me to stop trying to take control and let Him do what He has been planning to do this ENTIRE time. SO I GIVE UP. I have finally submitted to walking in faith and knowing that everything He wants to happen WILL happen, and it would be better for everyone involved if I backed off and let His will unfold and his glory and graciousness surround us. He wants me to fight the devil. So I'm gonna go do that next.
We leave for two weeks for camping tomorrow morning. We will be in the Australian bush and closer to God than we have ever been, no electronics, no familiarities, no distractions, just Jesus. Right about time! We will be there for two weeks and then back here for a week, then we will be heading on our mini outreach down south to Brisbane, where I will hopefully get to see th wonderful Amber Joy Smith!!! Afterwards we come back to base for two weeks before heading out to major outreach...and the outreach location is...... Papa New Guinea!! On a medical ship!!!! for six weeks!!!! alot of noodles!!!! and alot of smiles!!!! I am so excited for this outreach, as Im sure you could tell by my semi-sarcastic exclamation points, but I really am. I knew the second I saw this ship that that was Gods will for me, so Im stoked I heard it and everything worked out. Its crazy what happens when we dont get in Gods way! lol Anyways I have to go pack and get ready to head out tomorrow I just didnt want to leave people who are actually reading this rant hanging after last posts cliffhanger... : ) anyways Im off to kill the devil.
P.S. Makkas = McDonalds in Oz....fyi : ).... shalom!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
James 1:2-3
I apologize for how long it has taken me write another post. I promise it is not due to laziness or me thinking that it isn't important, it is just that I really haven't known where to begin, or how to go about explaining the things that have been happening. I suppose just dive into where my heart is the fullest, yeah? Yeah. I am now an engaged man who is madly in love with his future wife and the rest of his life!!!! I didn't mention her, Emily Ray Hatfield : ) , in the first post just because I didn't think it would be appropriate given the topic, that was probably dumb. I do dumb things sometimes. She is the love of my life, and the biggest supporter I have, even beating out my mom...and that is saying something for sure! : ) I will elaborate more on Emily in my next post, which I promise I will dedicate the entire post to telling you all about me and her, including the pineapple story : )! But these days I have very limited time and limited internet access, because I am finally in Australia!!!
I am roughly two weeks into my Not For Sale DTS which God has already been working through. I have been experiencing serious spiritual warfare like never before, desperation, depression and serious anxieties that sometimes it seems impossible to shake. But I have also been experiencing Gods unending love, and adoration for his children when they are obedient. I have been feeling God speak to me during times of worship or just simple fellowship with the new family that I am now a part of, and in times of meditation and prayer. It has been roughly two weeks now and I have been in a constant state of prayer, a two week long conversation with God going back and forth on the good and the bad hopes and dreams, plans for the future and concerns in my present state. Being awake during an open heart surgery, trying to walk around and carry on with normal life, despite all the pain and grotesque removal of fatal internal disease, is the only way that I can describe it. Feeling wide open; like all of my insides and nastiness is hanging out for everyone to see all the while trying to pick up and hang onto the things that I am uneasy about letting go, but God has a way of gently whispering to me..."its gotta go Stuart" and I understand and reluctantly drop it and keep walking, all the while He is replacing these terminal illnesses with gifts and ideas and an understanding about life, myself, and Himself that I have never before understood or imagined. It is going to be a long procedure and an even longer recovery, but it is something that I would rather die than be without.
My DTS is going to go something like this: six weeks of lecture here at the base in Townsville, Australia. Lectures on Hearing God, Identity and Destiny, Clear Conscience, Character and Nature of God and Worship, Relationships, and a Not For Sale week. Then we will be going camping as a corporate for two weeks in March learning on Lordship. We will then return to base for a week and be taught on Spiritual Warfare. After that week we will be going on a mini out reach here in Australia for three weeks. When we return from that we will be back on base for two weeks learning about Missions and the Bible. Then it will be time for Major Outreach, locations vary from either Papa New Guinea or Thailand. Then after six weeks in one of those locations I will be back here for a week and then graduation. Wow! Writing it all down just now makes me fully understand how fast this time will fly! Its only been two weeks and I feel like a new man in Him.
Please continue to pray for me during this time, I know that since I am walking in faith the enemy is going to be continually attacking, but my Dad is bigger and my Dad is stronger and my Dad loves me way too much to let me go so I know I will be fine, but I can use all of the prayer and encouragement I can get! I also promise that my next post will not be three months from now. I will be taking pictures and writing short updates every week from now on about how God is working in me and through me, I cannot wait!
Thank you all so much for caring, praying, and taking the time to read what is going on in me right now. I hope I didn't bore you or lose you in the midst of my rambling, but God really is working miracles right here right now! All praise and glory is His. I miss my fiancee', I miss my family, and I miss my dogs, but I will be a better man for them when I am done here, so please be patient with me, continue to love me, and I will be back soon
xoxo
God Bless you all!!!!!
I am roughly two weeks into my Not For Sale DTS which God has already been working through. I have been experiencing serious spiritual warfare like never before, desperation, depression and serious anxieties that sometimes it seems impossible to shake. But I have also been experiencing Gods unending love, and adoration for his children when they are obedient. I have been feeling God speak to me during times of worship or just simple fellowship with the new family that I am now a part of, and in times of meditation and prayer. It has been roughly two weeks now and I have been in a constant state of prayer, a two week long conversation with God going back and forth on the good and the bad hopes and dreams, plans for the future and concerns in my present state. Being awake during an open heart surgery, trying to walk around and carry on with normal life, despite all the pain and grotesque removal of fatal internal disease, is the only way that I can describe it. Feeling wide open; like all of my insides and nastiness is hanging out for everyone to see all the while trying to pick up and hang onto the things that I am uneasy about letting go, but God has a way of gently whispering to me..."its gotta go Stuart" and I understand and reluctantly drop it and keep walking, all the while He is replacing these terminal illnesses with gifts and ideas and an understanding about life, myself, and Himself that I have never before understood or imagined. It is going to be a long procedure and an even longer recovery, but it is something that I would rather die than be without.
My DTS is going to go something like this: six weeks of lecture here at the base in Townsville, Australia. Lectures on Hearing God, Identity and Destiny, Clear Conscience, Character and Nature of God and Worship, Relationships, and a Not For Sale week. Then we will be going camping as a corporate for two weeks in March learning on Lordship. We will then return to base for a week and be taught on Spiritual Warfare. After that week we will be going on a mini out reach here in Australia for three weeks. When we return from that we will be back on base for two weeks learning about Missions and the Bible. Then it will be time for Major Outreach, locations vary from either Papa New Guinea or Thailand. Then after six weeks in one of those locations I will be back here for a week and then graduation. Wow! Writing it all down just now makes me fully understand how fast this time will fly! Its only been two weeks and I feel like a new man in Him.
Please continue to pray for me during this time, I know that since I am walking in faith the enemy is going to be continually attacking, but my Dad is bigger and my Dad is stronger and my Dad loves me way too much to let me go so I know I will be fine, but I can use all of the prayer and encouragement I can get! I also promise that my next post will not be three months from now. I will be taking pictures and writing short updates every week from now on about how God is working in me and through me, I cannot wait!
Thank you all so much for caring, praying, and taking the time to read what is going on in me right now. I hope I didn't bore you or lose you in the midst of my rambling, but God really is working miracles right here right now! All praise and glory is His. I miss my fiancee', I miss my family, and I miss my dogs, but I will be a better man for them when I am done here, so please be patient with me, continue to love me, and I will be back soon
xoxo
God Bless you all!!!!!
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